Where Is the Space for Quiet ADHD?
The ADHD conversation is often dominated by loudness, energy, and disruption. But what about those of us who are quiet, observant, and constantly overlooked?
There’s a lot of talk about ADHD right now and a lot of that talk is loud.
We often hear about trailblazing entrepreneurs, tech disruptors, fast-talking creatives who can spin ten ideas a minute. They’re the ones who appear to make headlines, start movements, and are praised for their boldness. And that’s fine. It’s real. It’s valuable and needed. But it’s not the whole story.
Because there’s another kind of ADHD that rarely gets celebrated. The kind that doesn’t show up on stage or light up the room. The kind that sits quietly in the background, full of ideas, observations, and creativity but is often unseen and unheard.
I am that kind.
This conversation is often framed around women and that’s really important. But men like me also live with inattentive ADHD. I was a shy quiet child at the back of the class daydreaming. We’re just as likely to be missed, misjudged, and misunderstood especially if we’re that quiet, sensitive type, or just don’t fit the expected profile. We exist too.
I’m not the loudest person in the room. I don’t dominate conversations or interrupt with brilliance. I’m not the obvious one. I’m reflective. Intuitive. Sensitive to everything. My thoughts come in spirals, not soundbites. I have insights that land quietly, long after the noise has died down. But I’ve always struggled to be recognised. Even as a child. I never felt heard, but I needed to be. This just didn’t happen and continues. I’m trying to change this but I can’t do it alone. And I shouldn’t.
I’ve worked all my life. I want to work and contribute to society to make a difference. That’s inherent in me. Yet I’ve never felt fully supported, fairly paid, or truly understood. I’ve had to advocate for myself constantly, often while masking, doubting, and wondering whether I even belong. At times to my huge detriment. An underachiever with huge potential hidden from view.
The world rarely makes space for this quiet ADHD. For those of us who are entrepreneurial in spirit but not performers. For those of us who are quietly radical, not instantly impressive. For those of us who daydream and are constantly listening, observing and thinking how to change things.
I’m writing this because I know I’m not alone. And because I’m tired of being told that success only looks one way.
There are many of us who are creative, thoughtful, sensitive people that need structure, dignity, support and to be valued to thrive. We need to stop hearing, “Why can’t you just…” and start hearing, “What do you need to work well?”
I was finally diagnosed in 2015 having lived a life wondering what the matter was with me. Why are so many of my peers achieving and I’m still sitting in the wings. Finally, I met a leading adult ADHD expert at Kings College, London. One of three expert I’d met in the UK who suspected I had ADHD. Professor Phillip Asherson confirmed it. But what he also said to me is that, what I wanted to achieve I could not do it alone. Something I’ve always known.
We need workplaces, collaborations, and systems that don’t just accommodate us but actually recognise us for who we are. Having advocates or agents who can help and support us to shine and be heard in a world of constant hot air that we find challenging.
Because behind the noise, there’s a quieter revolution happening. And this matters just as much as those who can roar out loud, be heard and taken notice of. We need to be taken notice of too!
If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. I’m stepping into a new world of work and visibility. Trying to do it in a way that feels honest, authentic for me, and not performative.
