The Reluctant Social Entrepreneur Blog 3

A teaching and learning journey.

I’ve been teaching since 1990. I first taught English as a Foreign Language (EFL) in Tokyo.  At that time I had no qualifications for this. But being the token English white native speaker, I could get away with it. This is where I lived for 2 years and met my Japanese wife. Later we moved to Hong Kong where we were married and our daughter was born. I taught EFL to Japanese nationals who were based there. We finally returned to Japan and lived in Kyoto. I actually taught in Osaka, so I commuted to work.

I taught a range of Japanese people. From business men, `bankers in board rooms, to scientists finishing their research, should I say this, on animals. I taught school teachers, university students, children and housewives. One of my students was even a ballroom dancer. It was all great fun and I loved living in this foreign land. However, it was not all easy. I didn’t have much to draw on from my own learning due to a lack of schooling. I’d never been taught to teach but I’ve always had a love of the English language which shone through in my delivery. The way I got around this lack of teaching skills was to buy a basic grammar book with exercises, a small Collins English dictionary and I used the teacher text books to understand the delivery of each lesson. A lot of trial and error at the beginning with me losing my job a couple of times. ‘Winging it’ was a common feature of my way of finding work.  Admittedly most of the classes were conversational. The Japanese do learn English from an early age but don’t have the opportunity to speak to a native speaker. My being that, I was perfectly placed for this role.

For the love of Food!

It was in Japan that I taught my first cooking class. I possessed an entrepreneurial streak even then. I combined English conversation with cookery lessons, teaching Japanese housewives in their homes or at a local community centre. That was a much better way of delivery for me. Being intuitive, practical, hands on, combined with a structure that a recipe gives and my skills as a chef, helped me enormously to deliver a good lesson. This practical/visual approach helped perfect my craft. I didn’t know that then, as I was just learning by doing, trying things out and improving these skills in the only way I knew how, just to earn enough to live.

We decided to return to the UK and eventually buy a home. Before that happened, I had to live apart from my young family for a year to prove I could support them. I lived with my grandmother and mother. With the help of my mother I secured a job at a local college where she worked. I then decided to study English language as my first and only GCSE as imposter syndrome kicked in at the end of my time in Tokyo and I felt I owed it to my students and ultimately to myself.  I passed a year later with a grade A. I was excited about that and big achievement for me at the time. I was 30 years old. My wife and daughter arrived in the UK soon after.

Learning to teach and teaching to learn.

At the college I initially worked as a learning support assistant in classes of special educational needs, young people and adults. I was very fortunate to have a supportive and inspiring line manager, Liz, who saw something in me. She gave me the opportunity and encouragement to teach cookery classes to these students. It grew from there.  

Working at a Further Education college I needed qualifications to teach. I embarked on this journey which I did not find easy at all. My own education was really non-existent from the age of 10 due to a traumatic and chaotic childhood/family life. I did go to school and sometimes I stayed home. At times spending the day in the woods. Home life was fraught with a myriad of challenges and surviving this turmoil was put before education. This left me in my own world at school. Partly as a coping mechanism from this chaos but also undiagnosed ADHD. I had always felt different.

I loved primary school. It was a small two classroom rural Victorian village school with 6 year groups, divided between two classes. It felt safe, happy and everyone knew each other. Secondary school was the complete opposite. 1000 plus pupils, chaotic, intimidating and just overwhelming for me. I hated it and I spent most of my breaks inside the school on the stairwell hiding from pupils, the chaos of the playground and from staff. However, I did have some, one to one friendships but out of school. I also got on well with a few of the teachers and preferred their company to that of children. A lot of my time was spent day dreaming and looking out of the windows oblivious to what was going on in the classroom. I still day dream but I am more aware of this and much better at stopping it. At that time I didn’t know I had  mostly inattentive ADHD. I was a shy, quiet and anxious child. I was later diagnosed as combined ADHD.

I’m always telling people I left school with no qualifications but that’s not true. I did achieve low level CSE results, as they were called at the time. I also took an O’Level Biology, but again a very low result. I’ve shared some of these results.

However, I really loved learning and wanted to learn. I was always reading and asking questions, thinking, but coupled with the undiagnosed ADHD and a chaotic home life, it wasn’t conducive for me to learn.

Despite this, two lessons do stand out for me. One being Food and Nutrition (Home Economics). I did enjoy the lesson and loved to cook. I did it well. The other being Social Economics. I really enjoyed that class and found it fascinating.  I was a very shy introverted student but became friendly with the teacher Mr Cane. He was also the deputy head teacher. He made time to answer my questions. He took us on field trips. One was to London, a long way from my rural upbringing, which opened my world of thinking further. I found a short video on the subject which may help explain.

Little did I know, that it would be something I would take forward on my social entrepreneurship journey. Unfortunately, apart from my teacher, I had no one to support this keen interest in something I still find fascinating. It lay dormant for many years.

A lesson learnt or not!

My own learning to teach journey took much longer than most neuro typical people. I often witnessed them achieve this qualification in around 18 months. It took me around 4 to 5 years. I started the course several times but was not enjoying it in the way it was being delivered. I also had a young family that took up my time and focus. Too many distractions coupled with no prior study skills to draw on, so I floundered many times. But this frustration in the way I was being taught really got to me.

At that time I was still undiagnosed with ADHD but suspected something was amiss. In my own teaching of students I was always encouraged to understand their individual needs and learning styles using a person centred approach. I too had developed my own way of learning which hadn’t been addressed. The tutor who taught me was not taking this into consideration. This came to a head when I wrote to them complaining about their style of delivery and attitude. It didn’t go down too well with them and the head of school. Consequently I didn’t  complete the course at the college and decided to take it elsewhere. This also didn’t go down well but I knew I had to do something. I explained my issues to the new college who were very supportive. I finally came away with a Certificate of Education.

This had been the hardest thing for me to achieve. Again ‘Winging it’ was a common thread. There may also have been some resort to plagiarism in one assignment that I’m not proud of. I just didn’t understand what they needed me to write. Essays/assignments were a whole new world to me. I had never written one before let alone had help with one. Despite this, it was a very proud moment for me. I can teach and I do it well but in the way I do it is to support me in my own challenges around ADHD and learning.

After that experience I did take a Learning Style assessment which very interestingly does reflect how I do learn.

Finally, my time to study.

Having taught for over 30 years,  I feel the need to embark on my own study journey. I’ve always had mixed feelings that have been laid bare around this desire to study. Teaching and supporting people on their path of enlightenment, be it English Language or cooking, has impacted my wellbeing several times. It has been hard to fathom and deal with over the years and has been quite painful having my desire to study not being heard or supported.

In Japan, when I taught without qualifications to people who had studied hard and paid good money for me to teach them, came with a lot of guilt and imposter syndrome. My own desire to study has never left me. I tried to make it happen over 30 years ago when I returned from my first trip to Japan before I was married. I’ve now witnessed my children embark on their learning journey and, although I had little to draw on, I did do my best to ensure they had some support.  However, as they grew older I found this more difficult. I felt somewhat out of my depth and envious of their schooling. I Feel ashamed of this and that I didn’t do more to support them.

My hope is I can reconcile this in my own journey of study, experiencing the challenges they faced. But I take comfort that I too have been learning but in a different way and take this with me to a formal space to explore. I now feel ready for this to happen.

Over the last few months I’ve visited several university open days. All my life I’ve felt a real inadequacy and shame of my own lack of formal education. I have been daunted by these institutions due to this. But now having discussed my desire to learn, I have been reassured that I indeed have the capability to embark on this path. My confidence has been boosted and I’m ready to go on a journey using what I have acquired through work, teaching and setting up and running a business. Hoping that it is enough to secure a place. This should enable me to get onto a higher level course. It feels right, this drive in me is there and I’m working hard to make it work.

We should all be given an opportunity to succeed, whatever your age and means. But you alone have the power to make this happen when the time is right.